It's the Final Countdown

Tonight it hit me, this week is my last week at work.  HOLY CRAP!  Last Friday I had my goodbye lunch with co-workers.  We went to Sadaf, a Persian restaurant downtown.  It was nice and everyone seemed to like it.  It was kinda weird though, aside from a single diner we were the only people there.  We had one long table right in the middle of the restaurant.  Someone said it was the Last Supper and it really felt that way.  It's always strange to have a goodbye meal.  You don't really get to talk to everyone, I guess it's more of a gesture.  It was nice to have people there who are not from my department.  In the end, it was a nice meal and we had some good Persian food.  

So, this is my last week.  Tomorrow - Monday - my replacement and I are supposed to have lunch with my old boss who now works at Club/Restaurant that the station will do promotions with.  I'd rather not have it be so formal but i'm sure it'll be fine.  Monday night i'm supposed to go to Dawn's to help her with her Christmas cards.  I'm all for that, any time I get to spend with Dawn and the babies is precious to me.  Tuesday i probably have something but I can't think of it...oh ya it's the Teddy Bear Drive.  I'm supposed to drive our SD6 car in the caravan with the teddy bears.  Early morning, i think 7am?  Wednesday i'm not sure what i have and Thursday is meetings in the morning.  Friday is my LAST day!  wow...It's hard to even imagine.  Friday after work I will be at Mcgregor's for my last "hurrah" I guess is what I'd call it.  A lot of people have said they are coming, I really hope they do!  It's going to be an interesting week to say the least.  I've never had a "last week" like this.  A week where i've known and been prepared to leave.  I am definitely feeling a touch of "senoritis", i've had to hand over all of my duties to Nicole.  She's doing a great job.  I know she'll do great and she really deserves the job.  She's been an intern/part-time for over a year and she's already graduated college.  I feel like she's really getting the hang of it and she can hold her own.  I see myself in her 7 years ago.  I'm proud of her, she's come a long way since i met her in January!  I wonder if I had anything to do with it?  If there's one person I know I helped it was Monica.  I know I taught Monica skills she didn't have before she started working for me.  And now, she's doing really well and i'm really proud of her and proud that I taught her something.  ...I'm getting teary!  I cry easily lately!  

After this week and after work is done I will start packing.  I have to pack EVERYTHING I own and move it to my parent's house in LA.  I need to start getting rid of stuff.  I need to stop feeling so attached to my stuff.  I just hate throwing things away!  I don't have enough room to store everything and do I really need ALL this stuff?  Probably not but it's so hard to get rid of it!  But I will, I have been getting rid of a lot clothes i'm not wearing...so at least that's something.  

I can feel the pressure on my chest/heart again tonight.  It's the anxiety, the stress of knowing that IT is coming and it's just around the corner.  Not only is it almost time to go but it's also almost Christmas and I haven't bought a single present yet.  I have to buy for my mom, my dad, my brother, my cousin and an office gift exchange.  I don't have the money or the time for this.  How is that I made more money this year than I ever have YET I STILL live paycheck-to-paycheck?  I spend too much on crap, that's my problem.  Well and the fact that I NEVER cook so all of my meals are "to-go" or frozen.  That shit ads up!  I don't know how i'm going to survive in Paris!  Do they have Ramen noodles in Paris?  lol  Somebody told me recently "What are you going to do?  They don't have Wal-Mart in Paris!"  No, they don't and I'll figure it out.  I don't know how, but I will.  

I want this weight lifted off of my chest...I need to calm down.  Everything is going to be ok...don't cry!  Don't cry!  As soon as I start thinking about money and how I will be able to afford anything when I get there I start to freak out!!  Ok, just writing this is making it worse so no more for tonight.